I’m rating this book 5 big FAT stars!
Wow! I read this little marvel with great interest and found it fascinating. Quite simply Gary explains that we all have primary and secondary languages of love. We show our love for people in many ways, but we each have a language of love which is demonstrated more frequently than others. More often than not, the language of love we display the most, is also the one which makes us feel loved and secure when we are in receipt of it. In order to keep a loving relationship alive after the honeymoon period subsides, we need to match our partner’s primary and secondary languages. We each have a ‘love tank’ which is empty when relationships fail – we don’t feel loved. In order to fill it again, our partner needs to display our language of love to us, and ensure they are consistently doing so.
The five languages of love are: Words of affirmation (expressing love verbally, giving praise, complimenting, etc.), receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service (doing things to please), physical touch (whether it be sex or just hugs, cuddles, a reassuring touch of the arm, etc.).
Gary uses case studies from his long career in marriage counselling to evidence how effective this method of staying together and loving forever actually is. It is reassuring to see that even relationships which would otherwise be considered not worth pursuing and past the point of return, can effectively be rescued and restored to a greater and more rewarding level of love than you could ever imagine.
I have learnt what my primary and secondary languages of love are and have also figured out my partner’s. It has really opened my eyes. There is a great little on line interactive tool on the 5 Languages website which is fun to use and helps you to figure out which of the five languages of love are your top two. It confirmed I had assessed myself correctly.
I’d recommend this book wholeheartedly. If you are about to give up on someone, don’t! Certainly not before you have read this little book and put its simple instructions in to practice.