“What I’m looking for in a man is someone who fits like a glove. I want to feel so comfortable in his presence that I don’t have to put on an act for fear of him not liking who I am. I want to feel a rush of excitement and a burning desire to be with him all the time. When I first went out with Russ, I was constantly excited and on top of the world. Even though he wasn’t my usual type, the physical attraction was immense. I couldn’t get enough of him and felt nauseous when I wasn’t with him – I think that’s the definition of being ‘love sick’. Two years later a friend asked me if I still felt tingly when I kissed him and my answer was yes. I felt an animal magnetism towards him. I want to feel that again with someone else. As I have felt it with other men I know it exists. Ivan clearly felt it with me because he just couldn’t stop touching and looking at me. It would have been great if I’d felt the same but there again is it simply lust? How do you know whether you’re in love or lust?”
– Excerpt from The Man in a Haystack © Alice Huskisson 2012
Therein lies the problem. Do love and lust go hand in hand? Can love survive without lust? For many years I confused the two. I have felt excruciating emotional pain when a relationship predominantly based on sex ended abruptly and prematurely, but I have felt similarly when a relationship with a strong foundation of friendship topped with a regular helping of ‘sexy time’ has drawn to a close.
I really wish we could turn back time and experience courting in the 1930s and 1940s when people took things slowly and apparently fell in love before any ‘funny business’ or ‘how’s your father’ took place. It is those marriages which stood Continue reading
I’m very sentimental and nostalgic. I take after my Dad in that way. He was a keen photographer and when he went to meet his Maker he left behind about 30 photo albums which he had compiled with great love and dedication over many years. Photos were organised in year order and placed alongside special birthday and Christmas cards, newspaper cuttings, letters to and from loved ones, and literally anything Dad thought would be best preserved, remembered and enjoyed for many years to come. I inherited his library of albums and if there is ever a house fire (God forbid!) they will be the first things I save, after myself and loved ones naturally. They are irreplaceable and hold such wonderful memories of all the family. They tell our story. I like to think that when Continue reading
Did you miss me? I wasn’t able to blog last week due to being without an Internet connection but I’m back in the room now and normal service is resumed.
This week I’m talking about dreams. I’ve always found them fascinating. What do they all mean? I love trying to work mine out – I try to translate them in to my ‘real time’ life, my thoughts and concerns. Here’s one I had at the weekend. Picture this…
I was sitting on a long bench in the middle of a busy shopping centre with my Mum (who passed away in 1999). The bench was the sort you’d see in a park. We were taking part in a training course – for what exactly, I don’t know. We weren’t alone either; there were other people seated and participating also.
Then it was clearly time to wrap up as people began to stand ready to leave. There was a gentleman sitting opposite us, a black man, and I knew he was once very famous in the music world. (I’m thinking, Continue reading
As promised in last week’s blog (Meeting Mr Ghostie…) I’ve had several other experiences which I have attributed to the paranormal. They commenced from the time my Mum passed away in January 1999 until the day of my aunt’s funeral six years later. During those six years my Dad had departed us too in November 2000. I mention these bereavements because my gut instinct has always told me that most of my experiences were connected.
I shall recall the incidents in the order they occurred and will begin with Mum’s passing on 4 January 1999 from a most horrifying disease called Motor Neurone Disease (Lou Gehrig’s Disease/ALS).
Mum and I could not have loved each other more – I had so much love for her that my heart could have burst with it. She was also my best friend. I told her everything because I felt she never judged me and was always proud of me. I struggled emotionally with her terminal diagnosis but had always kept strong in her and my Dad’s company as I didn’t want to add to their misery.
It was just a matter of days following my Mum’s demise that I was awoken from my sleep by the back of my neck being tickled; a definite feeling of finger tips on skin. It wasn’t Continue reading
Have you ever seen a ghost? As a Christian I am supposed to steer well clear of the paranormal. Clairvoyants, seances, ghost hunting… they are all out of bounds.
I didn’t become a Christian until I was 33 in 1997. My childhood was idyllic. I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, an era filled with sweet memories I shall treasure forever. My sister became a Christian in her middle to late teens – probably around 1970. Not until the late 1980s did other members of my family follow suit. My brothers and my Mum all came to know God – it was just my dear old Dad who struggled with it all and never actually committed to Christianity.
In the 1970s my Mum went to regular spiritualist meetings locally with her father Joe (my grandfather who I affectionately called Poppa) and together they would participate in seances. I recall hearing about an artist (who also happened to be a medium) attending one meeting and Continue reading
A most wonderful lady, one I feel proud and honoured to call a friend, has nominated me and my blog for a Sunshine Award. Apparently this means my blog is considered inspiring! How very lovely – I feel quite humbled. Thank you Taylor Fulks, who is herself an amazing inspiration, not to mention a very talented author (among other things) of an absolutely incredible novel called My Prison Without Bars: The Journey of a Damaged Woman to Some Place Normal. She also Continue reading
Welcome to Part 2 of the tour! If you haven’t yet read Part 1 detailing the shops and bars located in Loughton and Buckhurst Hill, click HERE.
Moving on to Brentwood, this is where you’ll find the majority of the boutiques, salons and night life featured in THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX television show. It’s only a 40-minute drive from Southend-on-Sea where my friend Samantha and I live. The weather was much less appealing on Part 2 of our tour. Rain and drizzle isn’t ideal when you want to feel and look your best; nonetheless it didn’t deter us!
We parked in the car park behind Ropers Yard which was perfect for our first stop at Minnies Boutique which is literally a stone’s throw away! Minnies Boutique is the chic boutique belonging to Sam and Billie Faiers. It’s situated at the back entrance to Ropers Yard – a mews of little shops. From outside it is quaint and attractive – shown here on the left. That’s me standing outside. Inside it is vibrantly decorated in deep hues of red and pink with leopard print upholstering to chairs. There is Continue reading
Take a look at the evidence and read on to find out how I did it. 😉
First of all, let me say, since the age of 12 my relationship with food was unhealthy. I’d always loved stodgy food, desserts, cakes and chocolate, and had little interest in green vegetables and fruit. I often asked for ‘seconds’ at school dinnertimes and rarely left anything on my plate at home.
It wasn’t until I had watched closely as my mother Continue reading
Look at the picture above… it’s all smiles and fun! It was taken at work two years ago today. I’m the lady on the far right, and whilst I’m outwardly smiling and apparently having a great time, the truth is, scratch the surface and I was actually crying inside, desperately sad, and very fearful of my future.
You see, 28 years, 4 months and 16 days earlier, I had started my first (and only) full time job as a clerk in a bank. I had made many life long friends over the years, several of whom you’ll see in these photos, and I’d enjoyed countless social events, dated several male colleagues (almost married one!), been the subject of scandal and rumour (oh, what fun!), cried tears of laughter so many times, and most important of all absolutely LOVED my work! There were only 6 weeks of my working life at the bank where I was unhappy and I think that’s quite remarkable. I used to listen to colleagues moaning and griping Continue reading